Come Eat Tacos With Us
The Ninth-Best Magazine in the World Opens One of the Finest Restaurants in the World According to Whalebone Magazine.
The first question you might have is, “Wait, Whalebone Magazine is opening a taco stand?” Well, that’s not exactly true. Or at least that’s what we told the accountant, that it’s not exactly true, before she threw her hands up in the air and walked out muttering something about not being able to take this anymore. How it happened is Whalebone Magazine made an issue entirely dedicated to hot sauce, and then, because we now knew so much about hot peppers and hot sauce and had talked to “Hot Ones” chicken-wing talkshow host Sean Evans and the Heatonist himself, Noah Chaimberg, we made our own hot sauce. OK, that’s not exactly true, either. We know people who know more about making hot sauce than us, our friends at Señor Lechuga to be exact (who it turns out know a lot more than us about a lot of things), and we made the hot sauce with them. And then one thing leads to another, and we don’t run any of this by the accountant, of course, and the next thing you know, we are a hot sauce company. So in answer to your question, The Whalebone Hot Sauce Co., makers of The Hot Sauce Issue Habanero Hot Sauce, are opening a taco stand. Whalebone Magazine is merely an innocent bystander in all this.
The important details
The Whalebone Hot Sauce Co. Taco Stand opens this Thursday, August 27 through Sunday, August 30 from 5–10 p.m. each night. The address is 807 Montauk Hwy, Montauk, NY 11954. See you there if The Whalebone Hot Sauce Co. people will have us.
*According to Whalebone Magazine.
What can you expect there? We can promise you tacos and we can promise you hot sauce. It’s like really really delicious hot sauce. We’re not just saying that because we know the Whalebone Hot Sauce Co. gang personally. It’s really good. There’s a fair amount of heat, but it’s also tangy and almost fruity. Is there fruit in it? No, but there are habaneros which we hear can give a little bit of a fruit taste, but we also hear from eating a raw one on a dare after a couple of cans of Montauk Brew Co. that they are pretty spicy. Like spicy enough to make your eyes water a bit if you crunch on them raw like that.
Whalebone Magazine is merely an innocent bystander in all this.
Anyway, enough about how we researched it what went into the hot sauce. What about this taco stand, man? Did the Whalebone team learn a lot about tacos on their journeys from Tijuana (they mostly sat at the border there, so probably not) to Juarez (they asked too many questions there, so probably not) to Mexico City (they got sidetracked at lucha libre with Walter Iooss, so probably not) to Jalisco (mostly learned about tequila there, no probably not) for The Mexico Issue? We might have gleaned some local techniques along the way while we researched cerveza and maybe we brought back a secret recipe that only a few who Danny Trejo allows to know about know.
So, will there be things on spits and machetes and pineapples and masked wrestlers juggling fire? There may be all those things. But we can tell you for sure there will be obscene amounts a very limited-edition hot sauce that is available only here and at the finest restaurants in the world. Logic dictates then that this taco stand must be one of the finest restaurants in the world.
OK, so we are all on the same page here now, The Whalebone Hot Sauce Co. Taco Stand will be one of the finest restaurants in the world, and when you order a taco there it will come with The Hot Sauce Issue Habanero Hot Sauce on it. Maybe someone will pour it on the taco and when we say pour it on we mean like really pour it on. Maybe they’ll pour so much that it flows over the edges of the folded tortilla and drips down the sides into your hands and down your arm. Sounds messy, but maybe that’s just what it takes to be one of the finest restaurants in the world. Maybe that’s what it takes.
