Most importantly, you should know that while our 2017 Winter Issue is flammable, it flat-out sucks for starting fires. Apparently the chemicals from the ink are less-than-friendly when treated as a practical solution to get the flames going. We’re telling you this in the event that you’re currently lost in the snowy woods reading with the issue, need to survive just one more night, and are thinking, “Hey, this nice print magazine might be good fire-starting material.” It is not—save your matches.
For all of you who are reading this and not lost in the snowy woods, we should be good-to-go because for all the shortcomings of the Winter Issue not being proper kindling material, the Whalebone team has made up for it dramatically by having this issue be a fully-functional, remarkable representation of the absolute best things about the colder, snowier (that’s a word) and hot chocolate-filled times in this wonderful world.
Awaiting you on the pages in our latest issue is a better-looking equivalent to 10,042 Google searches pertaining to fireplaces, 62 emails regarding proper jacuzzi etiquette, 191 snowstorms, 20 hours of scrolling through a certain hashtag on Instagram, one stop at the world’s best mac & cheese location in Vermont (ok maybe 3 stops), 42 cups of Thomas Jefferson’s hot chocolate, 8 face stitches, multiple winter Olympic gold medals, $1.8M in Bluefin tuna, 15 years of driving around in the snow looking for waves, 7,082 ice cream headaches, 32 dropped calls because of bad cell service in the mountains, countless children being excited by fresh, clean ice surfaces and three texts from James Katsipis to make sure we spell his name right this time. All of the above accounted for, it’s a nice collection.
In good form and thinking of anyone that could potentially become lost in the snowy woods, we would like to offer all readers a free, limited edition book of Whalebone matches + a highly-flammable piece of kindling. These can be obtained by simply writing to firstname.lastname@example.org.
These gifts will allow you to potentially save your own life one day, or at least hopefully replace any drawbacks you’re feeling about reading a magazine that is decent at many things, but unable to provide life-saving warmth when needed.