Life’s Best in a 5 Mil

Dear @Instagram,

Is there a legal way to lay claim to the origination of a hashtag? We’re printing this letter on behalf of Sam Hammer to find out.

Sam is a New Jersey professional surfer, new dad to an awesome little girl and origin of the hashtag #lifesbestina5mil. We are looking to help him gain proper accreditation for his hashtag creation. Maybe a plaque or a certified letter? How do these things work? Those little blue check mark things you celebrities are cool, maybe one of those for him? Don’t worry if you don’t understand what the hashtag #lifesbestina5mil means—we’ll explain.

You see, the water in the Atlantic off the coast of the North East United States gets considerably cold for the months of December through April. The average water temperature during this time floats around 40 degrees. To contend with these elements surfers reach for their warmest wetsuits, hoods, boots and gloves. More often than not these are five millimeters thick, meaning they’re thick enough to keep Sam and all his surfing friends from freezing to death.

You would think having to “Gumby stretch” into 20 pounds of neoprene—in what we can only compare to a knight in full armor going to battle a dragon—is a bad thing for Sam, but in reality, it’s the true reason behind this letter: he loves the cold water. He enjoys wetsuits and the preparation that keep most on the couch. He likes the empty lineups, made possible by fair weather surfers. Sam likes the waves large, cold and in-charge. For Sam, #lifesbestina5mil.

Above this entire letter is a journal full of photo evidence we’ve collected on behalf of Mr. Hammer about #lifesbestina5mil. He’s traveled extensively around the Northeast over the past 15 years in search of cold, amazing waves. These are images Sam has deemed as proper evidence to plead his case. Please review all of this at your earliest convenience and let us know if we should schedule a press conference, or if you’ll be sending Sam his certification letter directly?.

Thank you,


CC: Sam Hammer

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