Whalebone’s Channel Surfing: The Game

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Who needs water when you have a remote?

If you are someone who may not consider yourself a surfer, do we have the game for you. Like surfing, but from the comfort of your own home and with your tv remote, not a surfboard. And probably a little more friendly competition.

Object of the Game:

Be the team to find the most items and do the coordinating actions on the list while flipping through the channels on your TV. Team with the most points at the end of the game wins.


  • Divide evenly into two teams, at least two players per team.
  • On each turn, assign one person to operate the remote, and the others to be the surfers and action doers.
  • Pay attention to rules specific to items on the list.
  • If you don’t do the action associated with the list item, you don’t receive the points.
  • Each turn lasts three minutes.
  • Each team gets five turns.
  • At the end of the five turns, the team with the highest number of points wins.
  • Points vary per list item and action. Pay attention to bonus point opportunities.
  • Winners get bragging rights. It’s just how it is.

Playing the Game:

  • Nominate one person to be the remote clicker per turn, all other team members are shouters/doers, only one person per team needs to do the required action unless specified otherwise.
  • Familiarize your team with the list items and actions prior to gameplay. You’re on the clock.
  • The team not surfing manages the timer and keeps track of the opposing team’s score based on how well the surfing team performs the actions. There is room for debate here from the opposing team. If the action was half-assed, you can challenge them on if the team receives the points or not.
  • Each turn, the remote clicker flips through channels while their other team members keenly search for any of the items on the list. If something is found, shout it out and do the coordinating action. Be quick, as you only have three minutes per turn.
  • Try to get as many list items and actions crossed off the list as possible per turn.
  • Teams take turns alternating until both teams have completed all five turns or one team finds all items on the list.
  • Bonus points on certain items can only count once per turn.
  • Each list item can only be counted for points once per team throughout the duration of the game.

The List:


SPORTS! | First event you see, the remote operator must mute the TV and another team member must give the non-surfing team their best play-by-play of what’s happening on the tele.

THE BEACH | At least one player must do their best slow-mo Baywatch run.

BEER | All players take a sip of their drink. (Optional for the remote operator. They are driving.)

JAKE FROM STATE FARM, FLO FROM PROGRESSIVE, THE GEICO GECKO | One person on your team must perform a “fuck, marry, kill” with this list. If you kill Flo, you get 1 bonus point.


SURFING | Literally surf the couch.

ANYONE NAMED JACK OR SALLY | (Can be a character name or an actor’s/personality’s real name i.e. Captain Jack Sparrow or Jack Black.) You can now only refer to anyone around you as Jack or Sally for the remainder of the turn, if you fuck up you don’t get any points. Sorry, Sally.


AL ROKER | Do your best weather report.

NICOLAS CAGE (in any context) | At least one player must do their best impression of Nic Cage losing his shit.

A RECORD PLAYER | One player must text someone over the age of 50 what their top three favorite records are. If they respond by the end of the turn, you get 3 bonus points.

ANY OF THE FOLLOWING MOVIES: GROUNDHOG DAY, THE JERK, JAWS, COMING TO AMERICA, BRIDESMAIDS, HAPPY GILMORE | Say at least one movie quote from the movie you found. (If you are able to find more than one movie on this list in the same turn you find the first one, you get 1 point per extra movie. This only counts for the turn in which the movie was found.)


DOLLY PARTON | All players must start following one person named Jolene. (Optional for the remote operator. Too many electronic devices.)

STEVE IRWIN | All players must talk in their best Australian accent for the remainder of this turn OR one player must tackle the nearest group of pillows while yelling “crikey!” Or both.


ANY SHOW OR MOVIE SET IN MONTAUK, NY | No action is necessary since the odds are slim to none. If you do manage to find this one, your team gets 1,000 points.

Let the games begin, you kooks.

*Whalebone is not responsible for any consequences or ended relationships resulting from this game. Please be aware of your surroundings, especially when trying to tackle the pillow croc.