The Universe’s Most Wanted

They say they come in peace, but do they really?

Either way, we’re just trying to determine who in the above line-up took the damn Reese’s.

CHARGE: Petty Larceny
STOLEN PROPERTY: $750 worth of Reese’s Pieces
VICTIM: Mr. Elliot Taylor

Please also be on the lookout for the following suspects currently at large.

WANTED FOR: Abduction, kidnapping

WANTED FOR: Possession of a controlled substance

WANTED FOR: Hijacking a coffee truck

WANTED FOR: Blowing our minds. He’ll do five years.

WANTED FOR: Practicing medicine without a license

If you see any of these suspects, do not attempt to apprehend them yourself. Please report to @whalebonemagazine and let the professionals handle it.