Illustrations by Alex Balosie
An uninformed guide to charging your crystals
There are people out there who are likely qualified to help instruct you on how to charge up your crystals for maximum clean energy and good vibes—maybe the folks at CosmicRX, for instance—but we are not those humans. However, we’d like to think we can figure most things out on our own, so with little to, let’s call it, no research, we’re gonna take a crack at the Whalebone Guide To Charging Crystals. Ready the moon water.
Rose Quartz
This crystal is great to soak in water. Apparently, some are not, which is good to know. This shiny pink rock attracts love and peace, so what better way to charge it up than to take it out sailing on a nice catamaran, split a bottle of champagne while discussing people you know who recently became engaged. Ideally, this gives it enough juice to attract a date for your next sailboat ride—unless of course, you fall overboard because then no one would find you since you’re alone. It’s good for the crystal to soak in water—not so sure about you.
Septarian
This little stone is actually pretty neat looking. White limestone makes a thready pattern through brown and yellow aragonite and calcite. Septarian, or dragon stone, is said to boost energy, so in order to receive a maximum charge here, you’re gonna want to go ahead and plug it in using your standard USB charger. Remember it’s best to let the battery drain fully and then plug it in.
Spirit Quartz
Meant to help uplift spirits and enhance harmony and peace. To get the best results from this amethyst-looking stone, it’s good to leave it alone to listen to its favorite podcast or maybe even a nice session on HeadSpace or the Calm app. And when it’s ready it will come to you with a clear head.
Tiger Eye
When holding this crystal in the palm of your hand you should feel courage, strength, the will to climb a lot of stairs. It sharpens you to be a bit more grounded. This may seem like a no-brainer but you’re going to want to put on “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor while your stone does a good ole montage workout—only then will it be there for you to achieve your dreams.
Ametrine
If you need a little more optimism in your life right now, ametrine is going to be the right rock for you. The charging for this one is a little bit of give and take—suggest laying it down on a chaise lounge and asking it about a time in its life that it has used optimism to help navigate its way out of a dark period. By recalling those memories, it will fully regain its optimistic healing power to bestow onto you.