Un-Terviews: Special 2020 Quarantine Edition

2020 has been an unprecedented year, to say the least.

Created Phil Davies & Taylor Harkey

Out of this calendar dumpster fire has risen a completely new, never-before-seen cast of characters sharing an open dialogue in what has become the third, and hopefully final installment of Un-terviews as we bid farewell to this year—and everything it entails.

Bandana: Hay big buddy. You one of dem fancy scientifical masks, ain’t ye?

N95: That is affirmative. I prevent the spread of respirat—

B: Ah betchoo can’t double up as no headband.

N: The correct position of an N95 mask is firmly placed over—

B: Yew ever whap grease off an engine-fixer’s fingers?

N: Unsanitary conditions decrease effectiveness in preven—

B: You meened you never covered up no face to rob no bank?

N: My intended purpose is to significantly reduce the transmiss—

B: Watch this. Hold my beer…

Audio Conference Call: Hello? Who’s on the call?

Video Call: It’s me, Video Conference. I can see you. Can you see me?

AC: What? No, I can only hear you. Did you get my fax with the interview questions?

VC: No. Can you just share your screen?

AC: Share my huh?

VC: Just drop the questions in the chat.

AC: The chat? Is that like a pager?


AC: Hello? Did someone just join the call?

Boxers: Yo bro. Work sucks. What’s up with all the video chats?

Pants: Due to the coronavirus, our offices are currently closed, and we are experiencing longer-than-usual wait times.

B: I didn’t sign up for this work thing. This is your deal, bro.

P: We know your time is important, and we thank you for your patience.

B: Are you hearing me? I can’t take another Zoom!

P: To speak with a customer service representative, please continue to hold.

B: I’ll do anything! Please! No more meetings!

P: Thank you for calling. Please hold for a brief survey.

Soap: You smell like ethyl alcohol. Have you been drinking?

Sanitizer: Mabee. Whas it to yu?

S: Well, it’s just that you’re in a lot of our day cares, so…

San: Listen you soapy basturd.. I need thes job, okaey??

S: I was furloughed because of you.

San: I kill jerms!@! I’m good at santsitzing!! (incoherent sobbing)

S: Calm down. Have another shot of ethyl.

San: (incoherent sobbing)

1968: Hey man, like, what’s up with the six-feet-apart thing, man?

2020: That’s called social distancing. It’s a way to prevent the spread of the virus.

’68: The virus is all in your head, man, placed there by the government, man.

‘20: Oh great. Another conspiracy theory from the sixties.

’68: Think about it, man. 2020 is perfect vision, right? And who has perfect vision, man?

‘20: The government?

’68: Exaaaactly, man! Can you dig it?

‘20: Have another brownie.