Good evening, Chris. This interview is being tape recorded and may be submitted as evidence if your case is brought to trial, or print. The time is 1900 hours on Tuesday 11th August 2015, and this interview is taking place at the Liar’s Police Precinct. Please wiggle your left ear if you understand. Good, great.
My role today is to interview you, Chris Glover, sole musician of the synth-pop project known as Penguin Prison, in relation to the sweet-sounding offenses you’ve been arrested and/or loved for. I will be making notes during the interview purely for my reference. Also present are avid Whalebone readers, both new and old, from the state of New York and beyond.
We are going to begin the interview now. My only requests are that you answer truthfully and put your serious hat on, because Chris, serious matters require serious hats. Let us begin.
How does a penguin end up in prison? He tries to steal another penguin’s baby.
Give us a song from the 20th century that needs to be covered or remixed. Easy Lover by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey.
What were you for Halloween last year? Every Halloween I dress up as Ross Perot.
Do you have any lyric-writing or song-remixing rituals? For lyric-writing I turn the music up really, really, really loud and loop it and jump around my room and scream and record many takes. Later I go through it and find the best lyrics. For remixing, I don’t listen to any of the music. I just listen to the vocals, so I have no idea what the original sounds like. Then after I’m done with the remix, I listen to the original just to see how different it is from what I’ve made.
Do you have a go-to karaoke song? Danny’s Song by Kenny Loggins but I like the version recorded by Anne Murray.
Going on tour has to have some weird moments. Please provide us with a weird moment. Whenever we cross the border into Canada, it’s a little scary. Recently, they pulled us in to the office and said to us, “I’ll be honest with you, we’re interested in the big stuff — guns, drugs, child pornography, bestiality. Is there any reason I should be concerned with you guys in regards to any of this?” We said, “No” and they let us into Canada.
What’s been the most incredible display of passion and/or insanity that you’ve seen from a fellow musician? When Jamiroquai kicked us off his tour for no reason. We were about to go on stage at the O2 arena in London and they came into our dressing room and told us we couldn’t play because of a lighting issue, and the next day they said we’re not welcome on the rest of the tour. He was insane.
Are there any deciding factors in choosing a song to remix? Usually I’m asked to do a remix for a specific song/artist. I listen to the vocals and then determine whether or not I can make good music underneath them.
Favorite account on Instagram right now? @maple_gram — my dog’s Instagram.
Let’s say you get to play your dream venue to an audience of one. Where and who? Bermuda Triangle for Queen Elizabeth.
Thank you for your cooperation, Chris. The time is currently 1912 hours and the interview has concluded. I am now switching off the tapes.
Featured photo courtesy of Guest Editor, Bjorn Iooss.