The most political statement Whalebone has ever made.
Normally we’re not ones for the hard-hitting hot takes. But for once it’s time to really lay out all of our cards onto the table. To finally make a statement that is incredibly controversial. We’re hoping to not lose any of you in the process and just accept that our opinions on this matter might differ, but to still agree to be kind to one another. Okay here goes—apple juice for breakfast instead of orange juice. Okay wow, it’s out there. What a weight lifted off our shoulders. Let us explain why we prefer apples—
| Apples | Oranges |
|---|---|
| Rhymes with: Appal, appel, appele, appell, cappel, chapel, chappal, chappel, chappell, chapple, crapple, dapple, grapple, happel, kapel, kapell, kapil, kappal, kappel, knapple, lappel, mapel, napil, papel, papille, pappel, rappel, sapele, scapel, scapple, schappell, scrapple, shappell, snapple, stapel, strapple, thrapple | Rhymes with: Nothing |
| Never have to worry about pulp levels | Too many choices, an absolute controversy |
| “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” | Good to drink after you’re already sick |
| Makes excellent pies | Probably terrible pies |
| A wonderful gift to show a teacher you appreciate them | A strange gift for a teacher |
| Apple juice can be served hot or cold and still be delicious | It is maybe criminal to imagine drinking a hot cup of orange juice |
| A representation of knowledge | A representation of Florida |