The soda gun cocktail is sweet, sweet music to most bartender’s ears on any given three-person deep evening.
The person who orders the mojito, however, don’t stand directly behind, given the flames that might be coming out of your bartender’s face. But we’re not here to talk about those silly people and their drinks. We’re here to pay homage to the classic, the simple, the two-ingredient cocktail. And since we have made such good friends with the whiskey gods, we’ll start with one of those.
Seven & 7, 7&7, Seven & Seven, 7 & Seven
After that first sip, your brain is flooded with thoughts like, “Oh yeah, 7Up does still exist.” And how beautiful it is that it does because as soon as the words leave your mouth your bartender can gracefully pack a glass with ice, pour over the (elixir of life) Seagram’s 7 and then decide which button on the soda gun they’re going to lie to you with, either Sprite or ginger ale—or maybe a little of both if they’re feelin’ frisky.
You used to order vodka tonics, but do you know how much sugar is in tonic? This is like half. Make sure you throw in a lemon or lime, for fun!
Rum and Coke
If you’re ordering this drink, you’re letting people know that you’re out to drink, but with abandon. Or, you’re admitting to not liking the taste of alcohol but still have an interest in its magic powers.
Gin and Tonic
This light and refreshing cocktail is the perfect way to make your grandmother say, “Already?” when sitting at brunch. But if you’re ordering it at night after a long day on the course, then you enjoy those well-deserved sips and bask in the glory of a pretty okay golf score.
The person who orders the mojito, however, don’t stand directly behind, given the flames that might be coming out of your bartender’s face.
Tequila and Water
Probably here to have a good time, but it’s 2018, and staying hydrated is important.
Again, this is likely what you’ll get when ordering a 7 & 7. Enjoy and maybe say “thank you” to your bartender anyway.