Eat your heart out, Tiger Beat
You might rightfully be under the impression that there is only one Dolly out there: the Queen of Country. Has a whole edition of Whalebone devoted to her, we hear. But you can be anything you set your mind to, even Dolly Parton. It’s just like she says: “If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” But just to be sure, take this quiz to definitively discover which Dolly you might be.
FIRST THINGS FIRST. HOW DO YOU START YOUR MORNINGS?
A. With a passion for fashion
B. Asking your girlfriend what she’s wearing so you can match
C. Putting your bloomers on one leg at a time
D. Tumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen
E. You work at night, so during the day you’re “sleeping” but also watching you
FAVORITE MEAL OF ALL TIME?
A. Starbucks pre-jarred Frappuccino and an order of chicken minis
B. You’ll have whatever she’s having, usually
C. Porridge
D. A cup of ambition and grits
E. Souls
A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN?
A. The Devil Wears Prada
B. Lars and The Real Girl
C. What is a movie?
D. Doctor Zhivago
E. The Exorcist
HOW DO YOU FEEL YOU BEST CONNECT WITH PEOPLE?
A. Texting on your rhinestone Sidekick, or through your blog
B. Depends on who I am that day
C. A freshly baked cobbler made with homemade butter
D. Through the magic of song
E. Inhabiting their bodies
YOUR DREAM PLACE TO LIVE?
A. Miami, Florida
B. Malibu, California
C. Mount Kisco, New York
D. Nashville, Tennessee
E. Ninth Circle, Depths of Hell
Check your results:
MOSTLY A’S: Bratz
A little bit of attitude—but a heart of gold. You’re the classic material girl whose love language is letting people borrow clothes or doing everyone’s makeup before a night out. The social butterfly.
MOSTLY B’S: Ken Doll
Some people have described you as a bit of a wallflower, but that’s likely because you’re doing your best to let others have the spotlight. Your accessories and ability to change career at a moment’s notice is unmatched (but your accessories do, in fact, match).
MOSTLY C’S: Samantha, American Girl Doll
How did you find this magazine in 1905?
MOSTLY D’S: Dolly Parton
There you are, the Steel Magnolia herself—Queen Dolly. A ray of light with a passion for giving back in all forms, and the voice of an angel. So whether you’re reading books to kids at the library or spending the day at the local animal shelter, you’re always the first person to lend a hand.
MOSTLY E’S: Annabelle
A little bit of trouble making friends. You could work on your approachability by toning down the terror and misery you cause anytime you scuttle around the house. Also a terrible guest at dinner parties.
MIXED BAG: Raggedy Ann
Maybe you’re just checking to see if we made an answer for this outcome. Or maybe you’re just the type of person who likes to remain unpredictable and has a passion for fashion while devouring souls. Stay unique.
