The following is a review of some custom-made and non-custom made golf carts that will lead you to feel things such as—awe, because of the absurd amount of money some people have. You may also feel indignation because some of these are superfluously wonderful and should be recognized for all of their splendid ridiculousness. Enjoy and make sure the kid is still holding onto the back.
If you’re feeling any sort of tender curiosity for this particular body kit then you’re in good company. Any roadster enthusiast would be pretty mildly amused by this thing and isn’t that really the only validation you need? Customize however you would like, but we here at Whalebone will always recommend that you put flames on any type of vehicle that you own. It tells something about your personage and that thing is—“I love flaming hot Cheetos paired with a Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc.”
Ideal Driver: Guy Fieri on a bender
No sense of shame
Body Kit for your new ride retails at: $2,999.00
You know when you’re watching a sci-fi movie and you’re watching the CEO of some evil-future-tech-company get shuttled to his next big busy-businessman meeting? This is that fucking shuttle. Not only is this model by Garia the “Coolest Golf Cart Ever,” but it’s actually a pretty good golf cart. This is the Mercedes of golf carts—mostly because it’s made by Mercedes. With all of the bells and even more of the whistles, you will never feel more superior to your friend Jason from college than you will in this thing.
Ideal Driver: Siri
Bluetooth® connection, hands-free streaming
Scorecard displayed on integrated touchscreen device
Onboard touchpad: 10.1-inch in-dash outdoor touchscreen
Dual size cup-holders on both sides
Space tax not included, retails at: $73,000
Hey Sally, we know we know, you’ve never had a golf cart that gives you that why-isn’t-the-internet-making-fun-of-me fresh feeling. And my, oh my, are there are a lot of Mustang memes out there that this writer was wildly unaware of before embarking on this review—but there’s the rub. Mustangs, the once classic cars, are now the instant classic of the course. Customize in your color of choice, but personally, we think you can’t go wrong with cherry red and a Blondie album.
Ideal Driver: Debbie Harry
Custom 12-inch Aluminum SVT Wheels
Locking Front Trunk for Additional Storage
Golf Bag Attachment, Sweater Basket
Really retails for: $18,990 (with lithium battery pack)
This body kit might make one think that they are safe inside a military grade vehicle, but not so, friend! You are, in fact, still in a golf cart. But there is good news, if you’re shopping for a look that only makes people think you don’t care about the environment, then look no further than this Hummer body kit. We recommend this for a limo-style cart for maximum raucous behavior that says, “We like being out here, but we’re not good at golf.”
Ideal Driver: A tiny, little, baby Arnold Schwarzenegger
Vroom Vroom Features:
Hood Scoop Grill
Retail-gating for: $2,195.00
A true vintage gem that you may have first encountered when your dad let you drive home from the course after one too many rusty nails…no, just me? There is something to be said for owning the kind of cart that one would immediately picture if you were to hold up a flash card with the words “golf cart” on it. Don’t plan on driving for too long, because your cousin probably crashed it into a retention pond.
Ideal Driver: Not your cousin
Sticky, beer-covered floor
Bid on this for around: $305.00
From The Golf Issuein collaboration with Callaway
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