Dunder Mifflin’s Secret Recipes

Wood cellulose washed and screened, bound by heat and bleached does not sell itself, people.

If you weren’t paying attention during your orientation that’s the recipe for paper. These recipes are not for paper but are regular recipes for food to put in your body so it continues to run so you can sell more paper. So, yes, they are also recipes for paper.


You have a huge day ahead of you, crushing goals and capturing souls. You’ll need fuel, here are a few of our favorites.


Everyone deserves a “treat yourself moment” to start the day. Make a healthy stack and then just keep making them to put off your responsibilities for the day. Maybe nap.


4 eggs
2/3 cup milk
2 teaspoons of cinnamon
8 thick slices of bread
Butter (or vegetable oil)

Beat eggs, cinnamon and milk together, then soak the bread slices. Then fry the french toast in a skillet until golden brown. Cover in syrup, shove in your face. Have that nap after all.


Ancient proverb states, “Here for a good time, not a long time,” so lather up some breakfast dessert in butter and start your day off right. Pancakes are also the ultimate fundraising breakfast, so if your company is in need of funds —think flap, jack.


1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups milk
1 egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted

In a big ole bowl mix together flour, baking powder, salt and white sugar. Then blend in milk, eggs, butter and vanilla extract until smooth. Heat your griddle over medium heat and cook ’em up.


Midday, starting to get a little drowsy. You’ll need that energy and breakroom trash talk soon to get your day revved up again. A couple of good options here, light and hearty.


A salad so good it’s almost criminal. This perfect light-lunch salad is so easy to make at home; just pop in a ziploc and you’re good to go. And, you’ll take up so much less room in the company fridge.


1 whole sliced tomato
5 whole basil leaves
1 ball of fresh mozzarella
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

Lay your tomatoes flat, layer with mozzarella and basil leaves. Drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.


*via Binging with Babish

Alright, if salad doesn’t do it for you, then let’s go with this heartier option that is sure to fill you up if it makes it to your plate. Making this in batches will ensure you have lunch all week!


3 ounces dried ancho chiles
1 ounce dried cascabel chiles
1 Tbsp cocoa powder
3 Tbsp cornmeal
1 Tbsp toasted & freshly ground cumin
1 Tbsp dried oregano
32 ounces chicken stock, divided
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
3 pounds chuck steak, trimmed and diced into very small cubes
1 large Spanish onion, chopped
2 jalapeños, seeded and chopped
1 habanero pepper (optional), seeded and chopped
4 large cloves garlic, crushed
12 ounces Mexican Lager
6 Roma tomatoes, cored and chopped
2 Tbsp brown sugar
12-ounce can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
Salt & pepper to taste
6-foot length low-quality poly fiber carpet (optional)
Shredded white cheddar (optional)

Cut open dried chiles and remove seeds. Cut into 1/2-inch pieces, and in a dry pan over medium-high heat, toast until fragrant and barely smoking. Place in a food processor and process until reduced to a fine powder, about 3 minutes. Add cocoa powder, cornmeal, cumin, and oregano, and pulse to combine. Add 3/4 cup of chicken stock, and blend until a paste forms. Set aside.

Place vegetable oil in a large stockpot over medium-high heat until shimmering. Add beef in batches and brown on all sides. Once at least half the beef is browned, add onion, jalapeños, habanero, and garlic to the pot and sweat briefly before deglazing with the Mexican beer. Add tomatoes, brown sugar, kidney beans, beef, spice paste, and the rest of your chicken stock—stir until combined, and bring to barely a simmer. Simmer for 2–3 hours, or until beef is tender and chili has thickened.


You worked hard. You deserve a nice meal. Or one of these dishes you prepared yourself.


Maybe save this one for a dinner party. But the good news is that if you find it on the road, it’s still totally usable, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. That’s good meat, no matter where it comes from. Just wash it off. You’ll need a good tangy recipe to get that gamey flavor out.


1 dead goose in the middle of the road
1 orange juiced
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 garlic clove
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon brown sugar
Orange zest

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Rinse the breasts in cold water, and place in baking dish. Splash with vermouth, then season with salt; set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine orange zest, orange juice, lemon juice, brown sugar, garlic and soy sauce. Season with mustard and caraway. Pour glaze over breasts in baking dish.

Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until no longer pink and juices run clear. Baste at least twice during baking.


Many of you have the same problem we do, too many beets in the kitchen. Why not attempt to make something great out of all those extra beets? Something light but substantial to keep you full through the evening.


1 cup dry red lentils
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
1 1/2 diced onions
5 cloves garlic, minced
3 Tbsp fresh ginger, minced
2 Tbsp Teriyaki sauce
2 Tbsp curry powder
5 cups of water
1 to 2 Tbsp maple syrup
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 medium beets, cut into bite-size pieces
Steamed rice or quinoa for serving
Cilantro and crushed red pepper flakes, for garnish

Preheat oven to 350F.

Wash lentils well by covering them with water in a large bowl and swishing around until the water is murky. Drain and repeat until the water is clear (usually 3 to 4 times). Set aside. Heat oil in a large pot on the stove. Add the onion, garlic, and ginger and cook for about 5 minutes, or until you see the onions soften. Then add the curry powder and cook for about 30 seconds, and then add the soy sauce. If the mixture is too dry, add a little water to prevent burning.

Add lentils, and water, and cover and simmer until lentils are cooked, about 30 minutes.

While the stew is cooking, roast beets in the oven.

After the lentils are cooked, stir in the maple syrup, and beets and season to taste with salt and pepper.