Condé Nast Traveler Delivers the Top Spring Break Destinations of 2017 + More

Photo: Elizabeth Lies
Photo: Elizabeth Lies

Every now and then, we convince a ridiculously awesome Instagram account we like to do a real-time interview with us on Instagram. It’s usually a good time. This past Tuesday night at 9pm EST, we were able to line up and ask a short flight’s worth of questions to our most trusted, and perhaps the last-standing, five-star travel agent in the game, Condé Nast Traveler (@cntraveler).

Travel itinerary included but was not limited to: the top spring break destinations in 2017, three hotels with presidential suites that you should sleep in before you die, and whether or not their crew can find the world’s most elusive person with a six digit travel budget. If you’re joining us this morning, find a spot with ample leg room, sit back, and enjoy the full interview below. Wheels up.

This is your captain speaking. Come in @cntraveler. Can you see/hear us?

Hey guys! Thanks a ton for having us. Excited to answer you’re questions, as we are fans of the magazine. Bring it on! Ha! And look! Already a typo on this end *your.

Hah! Hard to type over the sound of this engine. All good. Let’s get into it: A 0.04 second Google search tells us that spring break is acceptably celebrated over the first three weeks in March (four if you’re our sales director, Lyndsey Corin). What are the top three destinations we can expect large groups of people to be flying to and throwing bonfire beach parties at this year?

That’s a tough one, because bonfires go one way or the other…It’s a fine line between a rad beach party in Montauk and James Franco in cornrows, Spring Breakers style. #FourLoko. Different folks, different strokes. You like short flights that are NYC-based? Puerto Rico and Jamaica are awesome. For those of us adult-ing, Bermuda. We also say: #TravelerInMexico, specifically the Yucatán Coast. Even the hotels feel wall-less 👀.

Oaxaca’s Puerto Escondido is a bit more off the beaten path but doesn’t show anyone a bad time. If you want to roll things back to 2010, curate your Arcade Fire playlist, the NYTimes is telling us all #TravelerInCanada is where 2017 is at. Montreal’s food scene is incredible; @joebeefmtl is pretty much the most anti-spring break place in the world, but luckily dad bod is still in…

@Springbreakers paging James Franco. All those places rule—pumped to see Canada getting some shine. Is spring break a week-long or season-long holiday at the @cntraveler offices?

Maybe we try face-timing Franco? Just a thought. Anyone following who has his contact information, please DM us. And sadly, since our offices are based out of NYC, we’ve heard very little about a season called spring. “Break” on the other hand is something we totally get and are into it, and try to take advantage of it whenever and however we can! (Often best flight deals are off season…#freelance)

Good tip! Travel playlists. The majority of us have pledged allegiance to @spotify, many are privy to the vinyl, and an admirable few…the CD player. Regardless of preference in audio technology, what’re three songs any good traveler should have on their spring break playlist for 2017?

There’s a lot to say about this. Mac Demarco’s “This Old Dog” is worth a beachside listen. The @thexx just dropped an album that is 100% money. (Full disclosure: might be a better album to listen to after a missed flight). In the same breathe can we maybe say Selena Gomez’s new banger might be worth the download? You didn’t hear it from us. Majical Cloudz new song “Downtown” is a necessary download.

Oh, and obviously everything Washed Out has ever put their voice to a microphone for. That was more than three. Wait, wait, also Bob Dylan. “One More Cup of Coffee.” Okay stopping now, promise.

You’re stranded on an island. A tropical island. You know, the kind that might not be so bad being stranded on. You can have three items in the world with you—what are they? A phone with @seamless on it doesn’t count.

It might be okay—a lot of other things wouldn’t be there, like alternative facts. It might be super recuperative! The more we think about this… it sounds perfect. Can we go? Oh, and a case of bourbon, 5k lbs of wasabi peas (personal bias) and Apple TV. An authority in travel packing would suggest nothing less.

What’s the most violated rule in travel photography? Our bets on crooked horizons. Or maybe Earth-defying levels of saturation? You tell us.

Crooked horizons hurt everyone, and X-Pro-11…you’re a ge-filter-fish. We love a beautifully-styled travel photo as much as the next guy, but what we really love is authenticity. Enter cheesy moment, but when it comes to travel, we often live in a world of Thomas Kinkade “wow you” moment travel-porn shots.

CNT hopes to tell a story behind the photos we pick, and if that photo inspires someone to book a flight, or inspires someone to cook a big dish of pasta for dinner because we rekindled that memory from Florence, we did our job!

Lots of inspiration on your page. Besides @cntraveler, who has the raddest account(s) for visual globetrotting? @lucylaucht is already on our list.

@Lucylaucht is the best. We love @alexstrohl, @mihailonaca, @irinahp@_itsbeautifulhere and of course, @altnatparkser.

That’s a solid roster…Three hotels in the world that everyone should make an effort to stay at once in their lifetime, if not spending a few hours every other week scouring each’s photos on social media and vicariously living in the presidential suite?

@Sunset_tower has our hearts on hold. Hotel Lord Pinus in Tangier is worth the trip if you want to be a #TravelerInMorocco. At the moment, very obsessed with what @casadeuco In Mendoza is doing. Beautiful pool, delicious food, the best scenery, and wine. Not anything missing there.

Speaking of #TravelerInLovelyPlaces, we noticed there’s a #TravelerInMontauk floating around on Instagram. Have you guys been out to the East End before? Better yet, will we see you at @thesurflodge this year, and how many tequila pineapples do you think you’re capable of making disappear? The record stands at 14.

We’re going to read this as a full on invite, cool? The CNTraveler team is a thirsty group… 14 is a lot, but if one of us breaks the record, can we agree Whalebone has to make the news known on this account?

It’s a showdown. We’ll have our people call yours. Last question. You arrive at the office tomorrow morning and there’s a satin red briefcase on your desk. It’s filled with roughly $249,036 US dollars. There’s a note attached that says: “You have T-minus one day to find Carmen San Diego.” Or maybe it’s @benstiller. Either/or. Give us a brief rundown of your next 24 hours to find this person?

Hire a massive “influencer” to create memes asking for DMs to the culprit’s whereabouts. Then get on a plane to spring break in Puerto Escondido. Digital strategy at it’s finest.

Best answer we may have ever had in this interview series. Looks like we’re about to touch down. Thanks for hopping in the plane with us this evening. It’s been our pleasure—hope to see you out this summer!

Thanks a ton for having us! We love what you’re doing. @thesurflodge, get ready! We’re coming for you this summer!

Interview as featured on the Whalebone Magazine Instagram (Tuesday, February 28, 2017). To catch one of the interviews in real-time, keep your eye on our Instagram each Tuesday.